<Cough Cough> Alas, it will appear that I have fallen ill. If I do not make it through this night, I wish to bequeath my earthly belongings in the following manner:

To Tobey, my cat, all my shoes that she so enjoyed to nap in during my lifetime.

To my sister, all my jewellery which she borrowed and never returned. It will just work out cheaper if thou remain their keeper.

To ~elmostrangeblossom , I bequeath all my stolen swizzle-sticks. May you live long, drink many a cocktail and retain your bunnysuit-clad figure for many years to come.

To ~Rapier-25 , I leave my phone. It’s dandy. You may in turn give it to someone who might answer it every once in a while.

To my Sister-in-the-Law-Faculty, all my notes. You owe me BIG. (Even more so considering I probably got THIS from you!)

To my BFF, alongside whom I outwitted and outplayed The Kerfox in Primary School and then The Carstens in High School , I leave all my secrets. I told you I’d take yours to the grave!

To the rest of The Coffee Society (You’ve earned the name), I leave you each the sum total of 10 bucks. Have a cup and a free refill on me. (I’m going to restrict this to ~gothicICE , ~Wolfenlied and ~Uncle-Lothar - I’m kind of broke.)

To Fokofpolisiekar, my eternal gratitude. You guys (and your various affiliates) changed South African music for the better FOREVER. Hope I live to see you in Jeffreys Bay in December.

To ~Ozannah , thanks for being the only Gunner-fan who watches me on dA who actually checks out my non-Gn’R deviations. Here, have a virtual cookie. I washed my hands and promise I haven’t licked it.

To that guy with the face, my undivided attention.

Anyways, I’m going to go overdose on Corenza C and cough syrup, stash up on Kleenex, drag me achin’ bones to bed and then just lie there and moult under my electric blanky. Toodleloo, dearies.

Neurotically (& Overdramatically) yours,
St. Gutterlily

(Now with added mucus!!! Call by now and get the flu for FREE!!!)